You need to go shoe shopping when.....
10. You are using permanent marker to color in your scuff marks.
9. The dog will no longer even go near your footwear, let alone put his mouth on them.
8. You look forward to a rain because you won’t need to wash your feet later that night.
7. You’ve forgotten what color they were when you bought them.
6. You can easily entertain small children by making a puppet with your flopping outsoles.
5. When you flip the shoes over, old toenails fly out onto the floor.
4. Your worn shoes resemble “Grandpa Joe’s Famous Deer Jerky”.
3. You’ve noticed lately you’ve developed a limp.
2. It would be more comfortable to tie concrete cinder blocks thinly coated in fiberglass and heated to a steamy temperature of 220 degrees to your feet than put your old shoes back on.
1. When at an event, you notice the host whispering to the caterer about rotten onion dip in the general area you are standing.
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